I got in at half past 9… don’t worry I wasn’t at school that long. I got home from school at 6, we went to the pub for dinner as a treat and then I went down the road as one of our neighbours would like a Science tutor for their son so we went to discuss what they’d like. I’m tired now though. Normally when I get in from work I get into my jim jams but I obviously couldn’t do that tonight so I haven’t really relaxed until now.
I had no free periods today either so I only really sat down at half past 4 after our departmental meeting. I wanted to get a bit of work done after the meeting but I spent most of it having a “heated discussion” with my sister-in-law which upset me as I normally get on well with her. I won’t go into details but, like many family disputes, it involves a will and some inheritance. I was only trying to stand up for my husband but she took it way too personally and ended up telling me I “wasn’t ready” for a baby. Regular readers will know that this is a very sensitive subject for me as I have been advised not to try for a baby because of my medication so this was a very low blow – she knows my meds situation, and she suffers from mental health issues herself so she really should’ve known better.
So I’m feeling a bit low. This is unusual for me as I normally tend towards the manic end of the bipolar spectrum. I’ve been feeling so positive about work but the baby issue is playing on my mind, yet again. It hurts so much more that this comment came from someone who knows me very well, someone I think of as the sister I never had, someone who I’ve sent flowers to when she’s had a depressive episode.
We’re meant to be visiting my in-laws at the weekend but I really don’t want to go now. I can’t face her at the moment. She won’t apologise either – she’s not the sort to back down. I might apologise for winding her up tomorrow – be the bigger person, but it wouldn’t be genuine. I’m not sorry for what I said but I am incredibly hurt by her words.
I’ll sleep on it.